Kimberly lit candles around the house. Two on the kitchen counter and one by the bathroom. It was still early, so we all nestled in, staring at the shadows that the candles cast over the walls. We talked about different things, I asked them questions about school and they asked me questions about home and about Lolo and Lola. Finally, I asked Joey, "What does 'Oo nga' mean?" prolonging the sound of the "a". He laughed.
"What? You mean "Oo nga?"
His "a" was short and clipped at the end and I repeated it before saying, "Yeah, that."
He explained that it was like a, "Yes of course," but that I had to say it correctly because, "Oo nga" with a prolonged "a" was the sound of a caribao. He proceeded to demonstrate, "Oh oh ngaaaaaaaaa," and I laughed so hard and so genuinely that eventually both Joey and Kimberly descended into the giggles.
The rest of the evening tapered off into a comfortable silence. We all laid out in the sala, quiet, with a peace I've never felt before. It was so humid that we each clung to the tile floor to try and keep cool, but eventually, we all fell asleep, the steady breathing of each other joining the sophisticated orchestra of Joey's OPM and the sounds of Maydolong at night.
When I woke up the next morning, having barely moved from my place on the wooden bench and my back feeling better than it had in years, the first sound I heard was of a caribao, "oo nga-ing" at the rising sun. I giggled until Kimberly woke up and giggled with me.
That is one of my favorite memories. It is one of the memories that led me to fall in love with the Philippines and whenever I miss it, whenever I find myself drowning under the "#firstworldproblems", I think back to that night and I find that peace all over again. I remember how simple it is to be happy when you let yourself be happy and how uncomplicated God's blessings really are when you take the time to see them for what they are: moments of peace and love.
When I was leaving the Philippines I couldn't stop crying. I was so overwhelmed by everything that had happened. I was so empty and so full all at the same time that I couldn't reconcile myself. It was hard for me to move on. But I knew that God sent me to the Philippines for a reason and He brought me back home for a reason as well. It took me almost a year to truly embrace that, but I did and it has made my experience here now, coming back, that much more enriching. I needed the year to grow apart from who I was when I was here, because God has not finished with me yet and now I can truly be excited for that.
Things have changed. The "Balikbayan" has returned to a place that is in a different place in its life. Maydolong, along with all of my friends, have grown and changed and matured. It's both encouraging and saddening. I miss my friends, I miss our time together and the things we did as friends. But at the same time, its good that things have changed, they couldn't stay the same, because none of us are the same.
And more than that, this allows me to see that, in spite of all of the changes...I still love the Philippines. Memories like the one of that humid night so long ago, are still real and they are still beautiful and they are still important, because they connect us: me, Joey, and Kimberly. It binds us together as family and friends. God gave us that and every time I come here, for years to come, I will remember that night and the other nights I spent with the CYF, with Lolo and Lola. I will remember them and love them just as I did back then.
That's what a "Balikbayan" returns for, the memories of a time long since gone and the chance to make new ones in the time we're in.
There is no denying it, God has carved a special place in my heart for this country, most specifically this town and these people. I am enjoying the quiet and the peace and the love. I now only wish that I could share this with the world. If only they knew that the Philippines is still the pearl of the orient. If only they knew....
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